How To Avoid The Pitfalls, Wrong Turns, Broken Hearts Of Online Dating

14.07.2009 | Author: Lance Metzger | Posted in Relationships

As an experienced online dater, I feel qualified to help you avoid pitfalls, wrong turns, broken hearts, and the general catastrophes associated with internet wooing.

When you join your first online dating community, you will be required to fill in personal information. Please be honest. You are shorter and fatter than you think.

However, you have to be true to yourself too. Do not embellish your life just because you think that is what the opposite sex wants to hear. If you create a fake persona, you will regret it and look like a liar.

Warning: Prepare To Be Overwhelmed!

After signing up, uploading your picture and answering personal questions, you will be bombarded with images of single people all wanting to be friends with you. It is a heady experience, but it isn’t real.

Think of online dating as “an Ebay for your heart.” Yeah, there is a lot of stuff on there, but you don’t need it all. It’s like going to the mall with unlimited credit. Take a deep breath and remember that these are people, not things to be purchased.

Take it slow. Don’t act like the greedy kid in Willie Wonka. You are way better than that. Remember that the person you pick to correspond with is also connecting with other people. So, do yourself a favor and don’t tell all your friends about this great guy/gal you met. Chances are your new “mate” might not be around in three days and you will look like a desperate loser.

Keep in mind that this is a “dating” website and some people are looking to date many people as possible because, after all, they paid for it.

Take your time to correspond and build up a friendship before you agree to meet someone in person. In the car business, salespeople encourage you to take a test drive to promote in you a feeling of “ownership.” If you want a shot at more than just a string of one time coffee dates, you have to do the same. You need to become “real” to the person you are interested in.

Write. Text. Whatever. Let your potential partner see you as a person. Let a friendship grow naturally so when you finally meet it is with a sense of anticipation, not dread. A date will be less likely to dump you on the spot if they are eager to meet you despite your shortcomings, and you will be more likely to overlook their receding hairline or less-than-perfect abs.

Follow All The Safety Rules

Meet in a public place, let a friend know where you will be, and don’t give out personal contact information until you are sure that your date is reasonably trustworthy. Bad things don’t happen very often, but they do happen.

Don’t believe everything your date tells you. Caveat Emptor - Buyer Beware.

Be financially savvy. Dating sites are in this for the money. They offer you the “convenience” of debiting your checking account or credit card every month. Stay aware of when this deduction will occur, or even keep a calendar specifically for this purpose. Cancel your membership if you feel like you have met someone special and no longer need the service, or if you feel like this just isn’t working out for you.

Do not let your naysaying friends talk you out of this. In the past, “computer dating” had a negative connotation; happily, I believe that is changing. Users now realize that people on a dating site are busy professionals who don’t like meeting potential partners in a more traditional way (i.e., bars). The men aren’t creepy weirdos and the women aren’t chubby introverts….well, at least, not all of us.

Finally, be realistic. You will never meet the perfect person and you will never be the perfect person. Relax. Readjust your expectations and you and your date will have much more fun. That’s what its all about, isn’t it?

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Lance Metzger writes about relationships, offline and online dating. In our minds, “No Strings Attached” simply means, “Let’s get to know one another before we start making any commitments to one another.” To explore No Strings Attached dating, please visit the NSA Dating Site at: http://www.nsadatingsite.com/